Conflict is quite exhausting - not the actual solving of it, so much as holding onto it, and clinging to anger and irritation. It serves the interest of holding onto conflict to make my "enemy" a "non-person" - a being who looks human but does not have feelings or needs, and who operates in a paradigm people's actions are aimed towards hurting one another. It is so much easier to form an enemy image of someone I am not seeing. Indeed, seeing a person like an "enemy" is really not seeing them at all, but seeing a part of yourself that is wounded, angry and hurt. In the absence of connection, touch, actual tangible sight, it is easier to believe that a person is my enemy, less than the sum of their parts and defined only by the thing that hurts or wounds me. Truly seeing another person and trying to believe they are the enemy is a lot more difficult, because then I start to see the common humanness between the "other" and me. It is easy to say things like: "My enemy is really nasty and has no consideration for anyone." It is, on the other hand, far more difficult - to the point of being ridiculous - to say: "My enemy is really exhausted and needs some rest." And it is especially difficult to do this when I have huge emotions and unmet needs. Can you think of an "enemy"? It could be a person or a whole group of people. What happens when you look at them and think about what you have in common? Is it easy to hold onto the idea that this is a "bad person" who is your "enemy", or does it become a struggle?
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